Though Suicide Awareness Month comes to a close, the grief of losing someone in this way does not. With November’s International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day approaching, my heart is with every parent, sibling, friend, and loved one who has been touched by suicide. When my son Nathan died, my world shattered in ways I could never have imagined. As November nears, I want to share a few of the things I have been learning through grief.

What I am learning to be okay with:

• A part of me will always be missing. That space is a special place held just for him.
• Grief is messy and ongoing. Some days it feels heavy, but that weight comes from how deeply I love him.
• Bad days still catch me by surprise, yet they don’t erase the healing I have found.
• Joy and sorrow can coexist. Laughing or feeling peace doesn’t mean I have forgotten him.
• My loved ones keep me grounded. Caring for them has become part of my healing.
• Doing things in memory of Nathan bring me comfort. It transforms grief into something beautiful and meaningful.

What I am still working on:

• Taking care of my body. Grief has affected me physically and I am trying to give my body more of what it needs. I am prioritizing sleep, movement, and time outside in the sunlight.
• Being honest about my grief. Sometimes I don’t want to lay that weight on others. I am trying to be okay with “wearing black”, skipping an invitation, or not forcing a smile on hard days.

Grief will always be a part of me, but so will hope. Nathan is always in my heart and he reminds me that love endures all things and never truly ends

If you’re grieving someone lost to suicide, please know you are not alone. The weight can feel unbearable at times, but you don’t have to carry it by yourself. My hope is that we continue finding ways to speak honestly, grieve openly, and support one another in genuine ways. Not just on certain days or the awareness months, but every day.

If you or someone you love is struggling, please know help is available. You can dial or text 988 anytime to be connected with support.